Kid's Stuff: Daniel and Barino Survive the Well

Daniel and Barino Survive the Well

Characters and plot elements by Rhianna, and Dante

Writing by Patrick Kelly

Version 2.2  November 2017

PART 1  An Idea Forms

In the late 1700’s, Switzerland was an unhappy land. The invaders from the east had settled down and become peaceful citizens. Wars of invasion had stopped. Knights no longer had heroic battles to test their mettle and hone their fighting skills. They had only petty criminals to bring to justice. Many Knights became old, and fat. A few went to work for criminal gangs as hired swords.

In that simple time, Kings had little to do. They would hire some Knights, then entertain themselves by fighting other Kings and their knights. They fought over land and water rights, jewels, and, of course, to defend the honor of their women. The King of Switzerland, named Olvar, was like kings everywhere during that dismal time. In his court, the women found the fighting entertaining, and wanted it more regularly. They told the King, “You are getting old and you are missing most of your fingers and toes from battle wounds.  For our entertainment, invite the knights to an annual tournament.” King Olvar was rather dull. He could think of nothing better to do. So, he did as the bored ladies requested.

All of the young Squires came with their families from all around the kingdom to attend King Olvar’s tournaments. They were supposed to be learning how to be Knights and Kings, for they were the future of the Kingdom. But the grown-up Knights had grown old, and were not very good fighters any more. So the Squires would sneak out and play behind the stables. They invented fun games, like throwing road apples at each other, followed by a swim in the river to clean up. Every year, they would try to dress up in the knights' spare armor. Each year, they grew bigger, and the armor fit a little better. That got them thinking about their future.

One hot summer afternoon during a tournament break, they were gathered on the cool riverbank. Wolfgang described the sad state of Switzerland, "Are we to become like these knights, fighting each other for low wages? You know, most of them are missing fingers and toes? Some are so fat that they need us to tie their shoes. And our king is a disgrace. He has spent the treasury money on wars and tournaments. Our country is just a bunch of tiny villages connected by roads full of potholes. We should turn our abandoned castles into museums and attract tourists. We should have bridges across the rivers, tunnels through the mountains and smooth roads to all corners of the country." His vision was a bit heavy on transportation, but they understood what he was getting at – Switzerland could be better if they put their minds to it.

None of the young squires wanted to become a knight, or even the king. It was a sad feeling, and difficult to talk about. But they were Swiss, and the Swiss do not shirk doing the things that are hard. Year after year, they met again. One by one, each Squire discovered something that he could do to make Switzerland great again.

The big squire, called Tallboy, said, "I don't want to die on the battlefield fighting for a damsel’s silk handkerchief. I want to climb mountains, higher than any other man, and go where no one has gone before. I want to be known as Tallboy, the Great Swiss Explorer."

The deep-voiced squire with skinny hands, was called "The Bard". He said he was getting pretty good at playing the mandolin (a round guitar). He wanted to write songs that people would like. He planned to become a famous, and rich, entertainer. He thought it would be good if someone else could fix the roads so that people from all over the country could buy tickets and attend his concerts.

Wolfgang, the squire with a fancy hat, said "I want to wear good clothes, go hunting, and swimming. Most of all, I want to travel to distant lands, and bring back knowledge that will help us improve Switzerland. I want to be known as Wolfgang, the Great Swiss Idea Man”.

With other squires, they made a secret pact that when they were old enough to run the country, then they would take turns being king. Instead of leading bloody battles, the King's job would be to resolve disputes peacefully. They all pledged to keep a sword under their beds, so that if their land was attacked, then the king could make them all "temporary" knights. Together, they would fiercely fight the enemies of Switzerland. It seemed like a good plan.

Just a few years later, the Squires were grown up, and running the country. Old King Olvar died and left no heirs. The people said, “Which Squire will be the King? Will all the Squires fight each other for the job? That is how things were done in the past when there were lots of Knights and dragons. It has been that way for hundreds of years. That was when Switzerland was great.” The old king was buried, and all the squires showed up at the funeral, and they gave speeches praising the Kings good points, and saying nothing about the bad ones. They renewed their secret pledge to each other, then each pledged to the people that there would be no battle, and no killing. They promised the people that they would have a new king in the spring. To each other they said, “We need to work out the details. This is a good plan.”

It was late in the year, the snows came early, fast and deep. The valleys filled with snow deeper than a horse is high. The common people settled into their warm family houses nestled on the mountainsides to wait out the winter, while the Squires prepared to meet in the capitol city of Berne.

Wolfgang immediately left for the New World where he met with the new leaders of the United States of America, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, Alexander Hamilton and George Washington. He talked with them about how they setup a government without Kings and Knights and constant battles. He collected a lot of good ideas to bring to Switzerland.

In January, the Squires traveled to the capitol. The roads lay deep in snow. In some places, it was a hard journey by snowshoe and skis. One by one they showed up at the tavern down the street from the old King's castle. Wolfgang came back directly from the New World. He was excited by the prospect of building a great Switzerland. The tavern served traditional Swiss fare: warm beer, dill pickles, sauerkraut, and other hearty dishes. Tallboy called the first meeting to order, "Order! Order!” he shouted. “I have talked to all of you individually, and collected everyone’s suggestions on how to improve Switzerland, and make it great again." They looked at the long sheaf of paper and were speechless. The agenda was much longer than they expected. There was a lot of work to do.

Tall Boy continued, "We only have 8 weeks until spring when we must choose a king. There are many other things that need to be decided first. Let's get to it. First, I would like to welcome back Wolfgang and have him report on his trip to America.”

Wolfgang told them that he learned a lot on his trip. The Americans had worked out a pretty good system, and they could make use of most of it. They might not need 8 weeks to finish.

Tallboy thanked Wolfgang for his report and optimism. In a deep voice he read from the list, “Article 1, is that we should write down all agreements. That way, there would not be disputes later about the details. Are we agreed?”  That was easy. Everyone quickly agreed. Someone volunteered to be scribe and wrote down their agreement on Article 1. Article 2 said "Disputes will be settled peacefully, not by the sword. The King or his representative will decide a fair resolution to all disputes." That one got unanimous agreement also.

Wolfgang read the next one, “Article 3: The King will be elected by the Squires." That one sounded ok, but needed a lot more detail. They formed a committee to discuss it before making a decision.

Article 4 was "The King will travel the kingdom, and he will not have a palace. The old castle will be turned into a government office." This was controversial. They formed another committee. The meeting went on all day, and then the next, and the next. They agreed to keep meeting until they were finished. They worked for weeks. They ran up big tabs at the tavern, which made the tavern keeper very happy. Tall Boy was right. Finding a peaceful way to run the kingdom was more work than it appeared. Whenever they felt discouraged by their slow progress, they would remind each other that everyone wanted to keep their fingers and toes. That image, plus pots of coffee during the day, and relaxing tankards of ale at night, kept them all working hard on making Switzerland great again.

As spring was about to arrive, the Squires finished. They announced to the people that they had elected Squire Frank the new King, for the next 5 years. He could be re-elected, only if he did a good job. King Frank pledged to do his best to make Switzerland a great nation again. In his acceptance speech, he announced that Switzerland needed to recognize their best leaders as other great nations had done. Tallboy, Wolfgang, The Bard, and a several others who had toiled through the winter were rewarded with the title of Duke of Switzerland. The kingdom continued to be peaceful and now they were confident that Switzerland was on the road to greatness.

Wolfgang’s brother, Squire Frederick, did not believe that the old ways could be changed. He became a hired Knight and collected taxes for some other selfish Squires. He never bothered to help in the task to make Switzerland great again. There was an inaugural ball in the Capitol, to celebrate the new King, but the Squires, like Frederick who shirked their higher duty, were not invited.

The years passed, and Switzerland prospered, especially among the Dukes who ran their Cantons(states) peacefully. Tallboy climbed all of the highest mountains, and explored many dangerous corners of the world. His canton was known for making the best mountaineering gear in the world. “The Bard” wrote many pop songs, his Canton trained many minstrels to travel the world on the concert tour circuit. Duke Wolfgang and his wife, Duchess Lenora traveled the world representing Swiss companies in importing steel and exporting the world’s best watches. They made a lot of money, too, and lived in a fancy house, on the side of a mountain.

PART 2   The Crime

One year, Wolfgang and Lenora traveled to Sicily. They visited Lenora’s mother, Sienna, and her sister, Cecilia. Duke Wolfgang came down with Yellow Fever. He became deathly ill. The doctors had no cure. They said that Wolfgang would die soon. Wolfgang talked to his son, Daniel. He told him that the work to make Switzerland great was never finished, and Daniel needed to carry on by doing well in school and helping his mother, Lenora, run the family’s watch business. If he were qualified, he could be assured that the King would ask him to also be the new Duke.

Wolfgang’s brother, Frederick, lived nearby but his life took a different path. He married Lilith, who expected him to work hard and make a lot of money. Frederick was of the old school, he still believed that fighting was the best way to settle disputes, so he became a Knight-for-hire to several shady Squires. He collected unfair taxes, and repossessed people’s property when they could not pay the interest on loans. Some of these people fought back with swords. He walked with a limp from his injuries, and never made much money for himself and Lilith. Lilith was disappointed, and let him know it, every single day.

News of his brother’s illness inspired Frederick to come up with a way to take the Duke title for himself. In the old days, if a duke died without an heir, then the title was passed to his next oldest brother, and that would be Frederick. He would bring back the old ways! Yellow fever would kill Wolfgang soon. All he needed to do was kill the Duke’s son, Daniel, so the title would rightfully be   his. Frederick told his wife, Lilith, about his plan, and asked for her help. She agreed. Both Frederick and Lilith ignored the new rules that gave the King the choice to select the best person to be the new Duke. Frederick and Lilith believed that their bold action would inspire other people to join them, rise up, and demand that Switzerland go back to the old way of life.

Lilith said, “I will do anything, even murder, to get out of this tiny cottage. I always have to help you. You have a million excuses for why you cannot do anything on your own.” Frederick could not let the comments pass, he responded that “The cottage is fine. You don’t keep this small place clean, so you would just complain more if you had a bigger house. By the way, your cooking has not gotten any better lately.” They bickered like this constantly. They had some friends, who were just like them. They got together at holidays and were miserable together.

Frederick and Lilith’s tiny cottage was located near Wolfgang’s family’s home. Wolfgang had generously allowed his brother and Lilith to take walks through the pretty estate surrounding his house. This gave Frederick and Lilith the cover they needed. They walked directly along a path toward Wolfgang’s house with murder in their hearts. They could hear construction racket coming from the house. It was King Frank’s remodeling company busy upgrading the plumbing in the bathrooms.

Meanwhile, Daniel was inside and needed to use the bathroom. His mother, Lenora, said that he must go outside, in the bushes, because the workmen had temporarily taken out all the toilets. Daniel grabbed his stuffed bear, Barino, and headed outside to find a suitably dense set of bushes. Lenora sent Finkelstein, the butler, along to help Daniel. He was also to ensure that he kept Daniel away from her roses.

As Frederick and Lilith approached, Daniel and Finkelstein were walking down the steps toward the Big Well. They did not want to be spotted, so Frederick and Lilith skittered along a hedge, and hid behind the tall bushes near the well.

Daniel asked Finkelstein to stop and wait, so he would have some privacy. Finkelstein was rotund, The short walk from the house had winded him. He was happy to place himself on a bench next to the path and wait for Daniel to return.

Daniel walked, and found himself near the well. He looked down. “Sure is a deep well,” he said to Barino. The smell of water in the well, reminded him of why he was there, and now he needed to go urgently. He hurried over to the tall bushes. Daniel was distracted by a butterfly on the bush, so he did not notice where he was aiming. Frederick’s boots and Lilith’s skirt got soaked, but they continued to stand like statues. Daniel turned around and headed back to the house. Frederick nodded to Lilith who crashed through bushes, ran past Daniel and attacked Finkelstein. Frederick sneaked up behind Daniel and grabbed him. Daniel tried to fight back but Frederick’s grip was too tight. All the while, Daniel hung on tight to Barino. Frederick dragged Daniel over to the well, picked him up and dropped him head-first down the well. Lilith returned, kicking and punching Finkelstein toward the well. Frederick flipped him over the edge and down the well, too. The remodelers were making so much noise that no one noticed the commotion of there evil deed. Daniel and Finkelstein treaded water, fearing this might be their last swim. Frederick and Lilith straightened their clothes, returned to the path, and headed home, arm in arm. They exchanged grim smiles.

A few minutes later, Hilda, the housemaid needed water to wash the kitchen floor. The remodelers had shut off the water supply. She went to the old well, thinking it might still have some water in it. She found Daniel and Finkelstein, treading water, and hanging onto the sides of the well by their fingertips. She did not stop to ask what happened, but directly dropped the bucket down the well, nearly hitting Daniel and Finkelstein. Knowing she lacked the strength to haul them out, she ran  back to the house to get help. Daniel put Barino into the bucket, while he and Finkelstein held opposite sides of the bucket to keep themselves afloat. 

A few minutes later, the Hilda returned with Duchess Lenora and two workers from the remodeling company who spoke only Croatian. Daniel yells up the well to his mother, “Save Barino first.” Lenora thinks this is a dumb idea, but she and handmaid crank the bucket up an retrieve Daniel’s beloved stuffed animal. The Croatian workers are resting on the grass, watching the ladies frantically cranking up the bucket with Barino. They have a good laugh.

Meanwhile, Frederick and Lilith notice that the construction noise has stopped, and there is a big commotion in the direction of the well. Concerned that a rescue is underway, they turn around and head back towards the well.

Tossing Barino aside, Lenora drops the bucket down the well, hitting Finkelstein in the head. He is getting woozy. Daniel fears he might drown. He yells up the well, “Save Finkelstein first.” Lenora and Hilda think this is another dumb idea, but they do not want to waste time arguing, so they start to crank up the bucket, but Finkelstein is too heavy. With some appropriate hand signs they bring the Croatians over to the well, and they quickly have Finkelstein lying on the grass. The Croatians, being experienced construction workers, carefully lower the bucket down to Daniel. Soon, they bring him, too, to the surface. Lenora grabs Daniel, just as the bucket breaks into pieces. The Hilda grabs Lenora’s legs to form a human chain. She feels someone lifting her legs up, which does not help at all.  She thinks maybe the Croatians have the wrong idea, but she looks back to see that it is Frederick and Lilith trying to dump all of them into the well. The Croatians are totally confused and do nothing. Hilda has strong hands and arms from scrubbing floors. She punches Frederick in the teeth, and Lilith in the stomach. The Croatians grasp the situation and restrain Frederick and Lilith. Hilda pulls Lenora and Daniel out of the well. Finkelstein, seated on the grass, has revived. He gives them all a round of applause, but the excitement is too much for him. His eyes roll back to show only the whites, he faints, and falls flat on his back on the grass. Lenora calls the police and an ambulance for Finkelstein.

PART 3  Punishment

Wolfgang, on his deathbed, said to the King, “Frederick and Lilith are just stuck in the old way of thinking. They don’t understand anything but violence. There are many people in Switzerland who are like them. I have a suggestion.” King Frank said that “being stuck in old ways” was no excuse for murder, but he respected Wolfgang's opinion, and would consider Wolfgang’s suggestion.

Frederick and Lilith are both charged with four counts of attempted murder: Daniel, Finkelstein, Lenora, the housemaid. They also threw Barino down the well, but the District Attorney considered this as a single count of property vandalism, not a murder. The culprits were quickly convicted once they found someone to translate the testimony of the Croatians, who were unbiased witnesses to the crime.

At the sentencing, King Frank said, “Frederick and Lilith, you were very foolish to think that Switzerland would ever go back to old ways of doing things by murder, sword fights and other mayhem. Our laws say you should be hanged for your offense or put in prison for life. However, I promised Wolfgang to be merciful. We want to show that there can be non-violent punishments to fit some crimes. You shall be an example to others, of how we are improving Switzerland.” Noting that though they were husband and wife, they often argued and blamed each other for their joint decisions, the wise King said, “I sentence you two to live together, inside your tiny little cottage for the rest of your days, with no one to talk to but each other.”

And to this day, you can ride past the little cottage next to Duke Daniel’s estate, and see their cottage with big padlock on the door. You can hear miserable Frederick and unhappy Lilith arguing with each other from morning till night about whose fault it is that they got into such a mess.

After the sentencing King Frank convenes an awards ceremony in the capitol. He honors their quick-thinking and courage in disrupting the murder attempt. He gives them a hero’s medal and a cash reward. He offers them Swiss citizenship, but they decide to return to Croatia. There, they receive a hero’s welcome. The reward helps them buy two neighboring farms. They remain friends and business partners for many years.

Hilda’s quick action, selfless courage and physical strength is recognized by King Frank. He offers her a job in the Royal Guards, provided she can qualify. She smiles broadly and responds, “You betcha boss! That beats scrubbing floors!”. She handily meets the physical tests and just needs some marksmanship lessons to secure the job. She goes on to acquire some better speaking manners, and becomes the first woman to be Captain of the Guard, a responsible and prestigious position in Switzerland.

Wolfgang passes away a few months after the trial. In a few more years, Daniel finishes school and has other adventures which earn him a good reputation. King Frank watches over him, like the friendly uncle that Frederick failed to be. The King’s wise rule is recognized by the Squires and Dukes. He is re-elected, several times. When Daniel reached the proper age, King Frank granted him the title of Duke. Daniel leaves home and moves to Berne to where he can more closely manage the family’s watch business, and conduct the business of the Duchy. Barino remained home, on a shelf, with pictures of other valued friends, watching over the house.